I'm not sure how I'm ever going to send my baby girl to Kindergarten / Grade 1 and so on as Preschool has turned out to be a bit more traumatic than I anticipated. Yesterday (Wednesday) was Kailie's first day at Preschool and although she had a play-date there earlier in the summer that went really well, things didn't go quite so smoothly when we arrived. I think the biggest problem was that there were many other kids upset and crying, especially one little boy who she knows from church - when she saw him crying it was all over. So one of the teachers peeled my screaming baby out of my arms (could there be a harder moment for any Mum?) while I tried to keep it together (at least until I got out to the car). About an hour later I went back to make sure she was ok and sure enough I could still hear that she was really upset:( They convinced me to let her try a bit longer as no one wanted her first day to end on a negative note so I let her stay for a 1/2 day. When I went to pick her up she was a happy kid but still very ready to come home with Mummy:) Upon leaving I told her teacher that I was just going to leave her for 1/2 days for the first week so that Kailie could slowly transition - and she just nodded, smiled and said "maybe it will also help Mummy to slowly transition" . . . . this lady is on to me!
In retrospect we didn't do Kailie any favors by returning from a very busy holiday the day before her first day. She was just so tired and after coming off of 2+ weeks of being with Mum & Dad every moment it was pretty tough for her to try something so new all on her own. So after we got her back home for a good long nap and an early bed time yesterday she did much better today - no tears at all!! We still only ended up doing a 1/2 day as when I went in to drop off "Lamby" for her nap I thought I would let her try at school, she happened to be in the entry way just when I opened the door - once she saw me it was all over and she wanted to come home (which I wasn't going to say no to)! Maybe tomorrow will be a full day . . . . or maybe not . . . . I don't think we really need to push it.
It has been a much more emotional time for me than I was expecting - and trust me I knew I would be emotional!! It really made me realize that our babies are babies for such a short time and before we know what's happening they are going out into this big world without Mummy & Daddy. It certainly makes me question a lot of my work decisions - I just love my job and I really enjoy working and I believe that a balance of work and my kids makes me a better Mum - but I'm slowly learning that I just can't have it all. All of this has sure made me appreciate my little Kolton as I know that in just another heartbeat it will be his turn and that I need to treasure this baby time while I can.
Having said all that - watching my baby girl grow into a 'big girl' just fills me with pride and awe. As I watch her develop and grow up I know this is just the very beginning of some exciting times. I know she will do so great in not only preschool, but in all her years of school to come. She has such a sweet spirit and so much love to give I believe she will be a treasure in any classroom, on the playground and to her friends. My prayer for her is that her sweet spirit is never dampened and that she will learn to be strong while still staying sweet; loud when she needs to be heard but quiet when it's time to listen; fast when she needs to keep up but slow enough so she doesn't miss anything; and that she will learn and desire to grow into the beautiful girl inside and out that we have been so blessed to be given.
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