Kailie Fjola Matthews

As most of you have heard by now, Joel and I are the proud new parents of Kailie Fjola Matthews!! Words cannot even begin to express all of the joy and love we have for our little one . . . . and she's only been with us for 5 days!!

Despite the lack of sleep for Mom and Dad so far . . . and the fact that it is going to take me a few trys to complete this blog as our time has now all become about her - I couldn't be happier that she is here:)

The story of her arrival has been told a few times already - so for those of you who have heard it you can skip the next bit . . . . I know if I don't soon write it down I'll forget more than I remember (although there are parts of it I would like to forget!!) and it is a bit lengthy so don't feel obligated to read it all . . . but it's still how she made her entrance into this world and I can now say it was more than worth it!! So here's Kailie's birth story . . .

It really started on the Thursday night before she was born (she was born on Sunday early morning) at about midnight on Thursday I started having contractions that were becoming more and more regular . . . by about 7am the following morning after having dealt with the contractions all night, they were about 4 minutes apart. Joel and I called the hospital as we thought we should probably soon be on our way . . . . the nurses advised us to just wait a bit longer if I was still able to handle the pain. Shortly after our phone call my contractions started to get a bit farther and farther apart . . . and by about 8am Friday morning we were back to about one contraction per hour!!!!! I was devastated - after going through that all night long for nothing!! At this point we both tried to get some sleep as we were sure she would come along soon. Sure enough around 2pm on Friday afternoon the contractions started again . . . after about 6 hours - they were about 5 min apart we thought we were on our way for sure this time . . . however Kailie is a fighter and was still not ready . . . so the contractions again subsided and we were back to about one every hour or 40 min . . . now we were REALLY frustrated!! So Friday night passed with just the occasional contraction and then Saturday late morning we went through another 3 hours of contractions that eventually subsided again. I was pulling my hair out!!! These were painful contractions and to go through all that work for nothing was getting to be too much, not to mention exhausting!! During the day on Saturday, we talked to a few nurses at the hospital and also consulted my most favorite nurse here in Bermuda - (Nurse Rita you were my saving grace that day!!) who assured us that all this 'practice labor' is normal and that sooner or later she would come! Rita had told me that if nothing had happened by Monday morning that I could come straight into see Dr. Fulton to see what was going on . . . while this was mildly comforting I couldn't imagine dealing with these contractions for another minute - never mind until Monday morning!!

Anyway - we tried again to get some sleep Saturday evening between the random contractions and at about midnight on Saturday night I started experiencing some of the most excruciating pain I have ever had - in my back. I was absolutely terrified because I couldn't move . . . I knew we had to get to the hospital I just didn't know how we were going to do it. Lucky for me I have this amazing husband who somehow got me dressed through this pain while keeping a hot compress on my back and we were off. At this point I still wasn't having any consistent contractions - just this horrible horrible back pain . . . . so when we got to the hospital and they wanted to check to see how far along I was I assured them I wasn't in labor - I just needed something for my back (in not such coherent sentences!!) . . . . anyway - as good nurses often should - she ignored me and when she did check me I was between 3 and 4 cm dilated which came as a pleasant surprise to Joel and I, however still no regular contractions so we didn't really believe that anything was going to happen quite yet. At this point (about 1 am Sunday morning) they gave me a shot of Demoral which quickly brought some much needed relief to my back and from about 1am to 4am I was able to sleep in between the random contractions. I also vaguely remember my poor husband putting together a chair and a few footstools to try and grab a few zzzz's as well . . . . however I think he just stayed awake watching my contractions on the monitor.

At 4am I awoke again with the most excruciating pain in my back . . . I was out of my mind in pain and again they wanted to check me. They usually like you to lie on your back when they check you so I wasn't very thrilled about this!! And given that there was no real advancement of the contractions I didn't see the point . . . however they finally managed to get me settled enough to check me and to our complete surprise - I was between 7 and 8 cm dilated!!!!! This was the first time that Joel and I actually believed we were going to have a baby!!! Now as my dear sister pointed out - I will admit that while this back pain was so horrible I had to say that I was pretty luck to have essentially slept through dilating between 4 and 8 cm . . . . not too many women get that lucky:) However the nurse did confirm that the baby was facing up which meant baby and I were back to back which was causing all the back pain.

We discussed an epidural and had they just been able to give it to me right there I would have taken it immediately!! However as the nurse described the process of getting it I was so overwhelmed by it all I couldn't even respond . . . . which I guess they took as a "no"!! There was so much going on in my head - I just couldn't seem to get out what I was thinking . . . so not much longer after all this it was time for Kailie's entrance!

Two things to note - I felt like I was a screaming banshee!!! There was nothing graceful or dignified about me during the real intense labor (for everyone's sake I will omit some details that just don't need to be shared!!) . . . between the back pain I was having and the difficulty I was having pushing - all pretenses were out the window!!! However my husband was everything I wasn't, everything I could have asked for and so much more. He just kept me grounded, kept talking to me (rather loudly to be heard over my antics!!) and I just don't know how I would have done it without him. I know now after talking to him that the combination of seeing me go through that and worrying about how this all was affecting our little girl was an extremely difficult ordeal for him . . . . but he never wavered in the strength he showed through everything. He was so strong and I think surprised himself at how much the whole birth really didn't bother him at all - he was more touched in the moment than anything else.

So after about half an hour or so of pushing (according to JM - I couldn't tell you much about time at this point!) Kalie was born at 5:40am on Sunday November 9, 2008!!

Kailie and I were in the hospital for a couple of nights and on Tuesday Daddy was so excited to bring his girls home!! Now we are just trying to get to know our little girl and while there are some tough moments (generally in the middle of the night) we are just loving every minute of having her here.

The emotion she has evoked in Joel and I is something I will never be able to find the words to describe. Both Joel and I can't believe that we have fallen so deeply in love with her in such a short amount of time . . . we feel so incredibly blessed to have been given such an amazing gift and couldn't be more proud to be her parents.

We just can't wait for everyone to meet her . . . she is just such a beautiful little girl who we know you'll all fall in love with too:)

Love to you all . . . Joel, Kandis and Kailie